Stupid Internets

No blog this week, due to incredibly limited internet access at the moment. I promise we’ll get something big for next week, both in the comic and blog realms. Ta ta for now.

You couldn’t drive a wheelchair,

Phoenix

PS I am so excited to play D&D this summer.

Holy Crap It Is April

Apologies for the late comic this week. I was having internet issues earlier, and not only a busy day but quite a long weekend, and I am TIRED. So here we go.

This weekend I was a rangemaster for the third annual Women’s Shooting Sports Weekend. It was a blast, as usual, and all the ladies had fun too. I was the tomahawk instructor again, so there are now eighty more women in the San Francisco bay area who can not only throw axes, but kitchen knives, scissors, and screwdrivers. Watch out, men. For the rest of you ladies out there, we do this shindig every year, so shoot me an email or leave a comment here if you’re interesting interested in learning proficient and safe operation of all kinds of firearms next spring.

That’s about it for today. I’m pretty freakin’ tired. See you all next week, or I will see you on another time.

That is very confusing.

Phoenix

PS Oh, Reese’s Peanut Butter Eggs, how I love thee.

RHoM 2.0! Now With More Shiny!

Sorry for the lateness, everyone. Once again the day is saved by Cassie and her cute dinosaurs. So, enjoy another adventure in the life of Harlan Dinosaur!

SO! I wrote notes for this week’s blog! Aren’t you excited! Here we go!

Check out the new layout! Isn’t it shiny? Personally, I like it. It’s very clean and organized, which I usually am not. So this is fun. Downside to the new layout, however, a wider middle column means I have to blog more so it looks like I’ve written anything at all. You’ll also hopefully notice, if not, you’d better get your eyes checked, that the comic is now hidden behind a full-size one-panel preview. So, put away your magnifying glasses, people who didn’t know you could click on the comic to enlarge it, and click on the comic to reveal its secrets! Wow. Also. Go ahead and hold your cursor over the newest comic preview. Did you do it? Good. Notice how that ANNOYING “snapshotpreviewpieceofcrapthing” doesn’t pop up any more? YOU’RE WELCOME.

Also! Happy birthday to our associate writer/serial commenter Switzerland last weekend. Hope you had a good one, buddy.

Guns make you stupid. Better to fight your wars with duct tape. Duct tape makes you smart.

Phoenix

PS Frak. Going back and creating preview panels has made me want to rewrite entire punchlines and jokes from earlier strips. Gah.

Titles Can Be Hard To Think Of

Sorry for the delayed comic, folks. I had it all ready to go last night, but it was late and I frankly was in no mood to blog. So here we are today! Yay. I’ll maybe think about writing a blog beforehand, but we’ll see. Anyway! Apologies for the SUPER NERDY jokes in this week’s comic, but they were too juicy to resist. Besides, I think you can get the gist of the point of the stuff. Yeah.

So, the Player’s Handbook 2 came out last week. It was pretty exciting, as it marked the return of many classic classes and races to 4th edition, including gnomes, half-orcs, bards, druids, and sorcerers. I was especially looking forward to bards, as they had always been my favorite. I think it must be the “jack of all trades, master of none” aspect that appeals to me. The bard is able step into any of the traditional roles of the party, and temporarily fill it. Of course, the bard can never do the job as well as a class who is designed for it. 4th edition revitalizes the bard somewhat, giving him more usefulness in certain roles, while taking away some of the versatility found in 3rd and 3.5 editions. Also revitalized is the sorcerer, which was always a close second favorite. Basically, to sum up, I really want to play a campaign. Possibly over the summer.

Now that the rest of you have returned from skipping over that long, daunting paragraph, one which Artista will inevitably sum up as “blah blah, bards, versatility, blah blah”, we can get back to reality. Or at least as close to reality as one can achieve over the internets. Stay safe, everyone. I’ll see you next week.

I never thought I’d be happy to hear anything that sounds like Creed,

Phoenix

PS Beware the dread gazebo.

“Free” Is Just Another Word For “Socialist”

Go see Watchmen. Seriously.

No blog or haiku this week. I leave you, instead, with a poem by Rudyard Kipling. This poems reminds me of a dear friend, who just recently has gone home. We’ll miss you dearly, John.

It’s a trap,

Phoenix

“If”
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream–and not make dreams your master,
If you can think–and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ‘em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: “Hold on!”

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings–nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And–which is more–you’ll be a Man, my son!
-Rudyard Kipling

I Find Your Lack Of Faith Disturbing

In lieu of a blog tonight, please enjoy this Phoenix original haiku:

a white plastic spork
met three silver spoons last night
stuck-up spoons are dumb

In other news, I am tired. See you all next week.

The little hand says it’s time to rock and roll,

Phoenix

PS This comic is officially posted, because my Twitter says it is.

Rachel Ray Scares Me A Little

Sorry about the short hiatus, folks. But I told you we’d be back with something pretty! Yay!

So, RHoM.omg’s first anniversary is quickly approaching. I know, right? We’ve got a couple things in the works to celebrate, so stay tuned! On that note, anyone have any ideas/requests for tshirts? We’d like to roll those out rather soon, and “fan” input would be appreciated (send your ideas to rhomcomics@gmail.com)!

Couple small changes and one larger planned change here on the RHoM site. I’ve updated the first two strips to be consistent with later, larger sizes. So that’s exciting. Also on the docket is removing the images from the Comic Archive page to make it a little easier on those with slow internet (you’re welcome, Mom and Dad). So keep an eye out for that.

OH ALSO please update your bookmarks from rhom.tk to rhomomg.wordpress.com. Fantastically awesome. Thank you. See you all next week.

I don’t like the way the sky sounds,

Phoenix

PS I wrote this comic pantsless.

“Power, Wisdom and Courage” Would Be A Good Band Name

The gang went shopping. You can tell it’s the same day because they’re all in the same clothes, clearly. I decided that a strip of them saying, “I think we need to go to the store.” “You’re right! Let’s go.” “Yes, let’s shall.” would be pretty lame. So we’ll fill up this week’s blog with that lameness instead, and give you some nice video game humor in the comic proper. And don’t you worry, you’ll see more of Gene, Neph, and Captain Bob soon. Oh, also the eventual return of MYSTERY GIRL. Keep your britches on. You too, ladies.

Keep an eye out on the rest of the site, such as our Comic Archive, a quick and easy (and updated weekly!) way to check out the newest comic without cutting through all this blog nonsense, our characters page with info about our crazy cast and soon to be updated with ZOMG PICTURES, or maybe even our comic info or author info pages. That’s all the self-promotion for today. I’ll let Artista promote her art blog on her own frakking time. See y’all next week.

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less travelled by,

Phoenix

PS If you have been accessing our site via the url rhom.tk, please update your bookmarks, etc. to rhomomg.wordpress.com. Thank you!

Gahh Frakking Title

My gods there is something about that color of polo shirts that screams, well, something. You can fill in the blank as you wish.

Spring semester started today for me, hense the late-ish post. Well, it’s still Monday, so it’s not late. We’ve been on time or early every comic this year so far! Whoo! Let’s try and keep that going. That’s our resolution to you, the readers. In return, your resolution to us should be to tell EVERYONE YOU KNOW about our comic. Spread the word, people!

Well, if you will excuse me, I’m feeling a little under the weather. That’s all the blog you get for this week, people. See you next week, with exciting new developments for our heroes!

When I’m sick, I stop being sick and be awesome instead. True story.

Phoenix

PS Phoenix earned the achievement [Birthday]
Phoenix received loot [Bag of Holding]

Big Bang Chuck Office Your Mother

Extra super long bonus awesome extended director’s cut special comic this week! Merry Christmas, etc. We may or may not be back next week, so everyone enjoy family time and their holidays.

Stiney! Fetch me a danish!

Phoenix

PS Does your family have a manzanita Christmas tree?